Hi! Welcome to my blog, the one you're looking right now.
What are u gonna do?
Stalking me?
Or, are u just one of my friend who loves to take a peek at my life?
Whoever you are..
Welcome =]


I'm just a grown up-but-young-at-♥ girl lives in Jakarta. Peacefully.
Am 24, and still counting, because my life's just keep going better by the day.

I'll keep u posted!

♥The Boring Wishlist♥

Charles&Keith gladi-wedges Diana+ Lomo Harajuku Lovers 'G' Fragrance Swatch 007 Villains Limited Collection 'Zao' (X)SML heart-pattern cardi

♥The Oldfashion Thoughts♥

♥The 60's Friends♥

blueberry chi
Mpok Jane&Neng Sarah

♥Those Can't Be Bothered Days♥

part 1
part 2
part 3
part 4
part 5
part 6
part 7
part 8
part 9
part 10
part 11
part 12


Designer: Jean
Images: DevianArt
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2 Days in Paris
Monday, February 14, 2011

There's a moment in life where you can't recover any more from another break-up. And even if this person bugs you sixty percent of the time, well you still canít live without him. And even if he wakes you up every day by sneezing right in your face, well you love his sneezes more than anyone else's kisses.
[2 Days in Paris]

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Where is she?
Sunday, January 23, 2011

There's a girl whom I thought is a very happy person. Whenever she sad, she can put widest smile you ever seen at a snap. She never care, not that she's ignorant, she's just don't want to waste her time being sad. Why sad when you got all the things in life on your hands?
She feels fit in. She's proud of herself, her achievement in life, her skills, what she can do to other people, what other people told her, how she makes the room become happily noisy when she's around. Not that she's a snob or what, she's just know what she's doing. And she enjoys it. What else to bother when you know people need you?
She got everything, not that her life is perfect. It's far from perfect. Broken home family is not something to be proud of, right? But she can always see the positive side of everything. She never doubt people, she never suspicious and hate people. Unless that person has severely hurt her. Well, she doesn't like gossipping. She's friends with both sides, and not trying to make the conflict worse. She's just neutral, she just love having many friends. With friends like hers, who needs enemy?

But where's the girl now? I haven't seen her for a while.
The only person left is this stressed and horrible girl. A girl who lie to people, even the small lies. Just because she doesn't want to go out, she just want to stay at home. But her friends won't accept no for answer. Thus, she lied. It is not right.
This girl doesn't take sides. But now she lives in world where people ask her to choose. Either being friends with this or that? Why? Isn't it better to have as many friends as we can?
This girl usually have something to be proud of. But I can see that she lives in a world where people no longer appreciate what she has, what she can do. Since when making money become an ashame?
She doesn't like where she is. She doesn't belong there. But she has no choice, this girl is here. Doesn't matter how strong she wants to meet the first girl, she can't find it. Now she always stressed out, feeling left out, have no friends.

Where can I meet that girl again? That girl whose world is full of laugh, not like mine who feels trapped.

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The Beginning
Tuesday, August 31, 2010

It's 11 days away from my departure.
My start of a new life, far away from home
This will be my very first time being away from home, from my family for long time.
I'll spend a year in Birmingham, UK to pursue my master degree.

It's kinda heart to keep positive about this, when I know I'm leaving everything behind.
I just hope everything will be alright, Ya Allah..I hope You can make everything's right :)

New life? BRING IT ON!!!!

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I'm all happy smiles :)
Sunday, December 6, 2009

I'm happily in love right now. That's all I want to say.
This guy has been forever beside me, but I just knew he's the one I've been looking for.
I'm all smiles right now, and that's because of him.
And this song by Karen Ramirez has the right words to describe my feelings inside :):)

I was alone thinkin' I was just fine
I wasn't lookin' for anyone to be mine
I thought love was just a fabrication
A train that wouldn't stop at my station

Home, alone, that was my consignment
Solitary confinement
So when we met I was getting around you

I didn't know I was looking for love until I found you
honey/baby (3x)
I didn't know I was looking for love (2x)

Cuz there I stood and I would
Oh I wonder could I say what I felt
And not be misunderstood
A thousand stars came into my system
I never knew how much I had missed them

Slap on my lap of my heart you landed
I was coy but you made me candid
And now the planets circle around you

I didn't know I was looking for love until I found you baby (3x)
I didn't know I was looking for love (2x)

So we build from here with love the foundation
In a world where tears' our conselation
Now your here there's a full brass band
Playin' in me like a wonderland
And if you left I would be two foot small
And every tear would be a waterfall
Soundless boundless I surround you

I didn't know I was looking for love until I found you
I just didn't know

I didn't know I was looking for love until I found you
I didn't know I was looking for love

I just didn't know
until I found you baby
until I found you
I didn't know I was looking for love
Until I found you
(Karen Ramirez - Looking for Love)

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Thursday, September 10, 2009

There are some many things to catch up. Some critical points of my life.
My latest entry was like 3 months ago, there had been ups and downs about work, guys, friends!
But now, I want to talk about my work and friends.
I've made a decision, which I thought wasn't that big. Turns out, it is big indeed.

It's a decision where I thought I've made the right choice. But somehow leaves a weird feeling within myself.
A decision that I thought I need to make it as quick as I can. Turns out, now I want to postpone it as long as I can.
A decision where I thought it will take me home, turns out taking me out far away from where I feel comfortable at.
A decision that some how, I regret?

I don't regret things.
I barely had some regret in my life.

No I don't regret any of my decisions.
But, I will miss my friends.
I will miss those effortless team bonding time.
I will miss those silly laugh.
I will miss the time when I don't need to act smart, the time when mistake become learning. Not a taboo.
I will miss the time, when I'm just being me.

When I say goodbye, please don't think I hate being with you guys.
You guys bring another excitement and joy to my working life.
Please consider yourself as special.

Goodbye, I hope we'll cross path.
I'll be seeing you.

I'm about to cry :(

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Brida is who I am
Saturday, June 27, 2009

Just finished reading Brida, a completely stunning book by Paulo Coelho. Honestly, this is my first Coelho's book. I didn't went over the anxiety of The Alchemist, truthfully I knew Coelho from this guy. This guy whom I'd like to talk about on my next post.
The book itself tell us about the story of a witch-to-be young woman, about my age, while she's living a perfect life, with a right job, right boyfriend, and like every human in this world. She craves for another adventure. Adventure involving learning witchcraft from 2 teachers (who apparently had some history in the past) and all of it leads to finding who's her true soulmate is, and knowing that a woman can choose. Yes, a woman can choose. Even if you already meet your soulmate, what if your heart doesn't tell feel like be with him.
According to the book, Soulmate is where 1 soul has divided into 2 souls and wanders through the journey of time and centuries. They are reincarnated into people who will randomly meet, and see the a point of light on each other's left shoulder. And that's when you know you find your Soulmate.
And it's merely not impossible that 2 soulmates live in 1 track of time. That's when you have to choose.

Enough about the book, let me tell you, what the book has done to me. Not really significant actually, but apparently, I really can relate to what she feels. Particularly what written below ..

"I'm afraid of committing myself", she thought to herself. She wanted to follow all possible paths and so ended up following none. You had to take some risks, follow some paths and abandon others. -Brida pg.97

Ya, I'm too afraid to commit myself for anything now. I'm always run, run from the people who approach me, run from choices I might have, run from the chances people offered, run from anything. Just because I'm afraid of what will come if I do that. Yes, end I ended up following nothing.

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Quick note at 10.45
Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Scene: sitting crossed legs, plain nails, without any color
Sound: The Great Fiction - Body Urge (repeat one - mode on)

Turning your back on someone sometimes can be a good thing to do.

When you walk away from a person whom you have mutual feelings with, somehow come the urge to turn around and see him/her once again. You can follow it with a smile, or maybe just catch a glimpse of his sight, it's eligible enough to be the best ending of your night.

Believe it or not, this is how I find out there's something wrong with my ex, let's call it 'D'. Not to compare (well duh..I'm comparing them now), but my other ex-es, let's call it 'P', somehow always turn his back whenever he was about to leave me.
Even when we just spent our wholeday wandering around the city, go to Circle K, eating hawker food, and exhausted from a crowded gigs, when he left..it's good to look him in the eye once again before he's finally gone. While D, when he left, he just walk away and never turn his back. I remember them time when I wait for him to turn, I said to myself "turn around, turn around..". And of course, he never did that.

So basically, I really appreciate this small act.
I personally think, this is the reason why:
1. It means he/she really enjoy spending time with you. And she can't stand the thought of leaving you when the night's over. So, to turn his back once again and catch a glimpse of you is the most rational thing to do at the time.
2. Maybe he / she just want the same thing, and expect you to stare at them so when they turn their back, tadaaaa...your eyes met, and again, it becomes the best ending of your night.

Hm, such a mellow note for tonight. And just so you know, it's inspired by tonight's episode of CSI NY, when detective Mac Taylor just asked someone for a date, and she turned her back and smiled to him. And Mac said "She turn her back..it's a good sign".

It's a very good sign indeed.

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one of my Summer guys
Sunday, June 7, 2009

You know the thing called summer romance, a so-called romantic relationship you had with a random guy you met on summer holiday. The fling just appeared for 3 months, you enjoy the relationship, and then summer end, and so is your relationship.
You move on with your regular life, looking for another romance, but still that guy will stay in your heart (or at least your mind).

It's not like I have that summer romance, but I have these guys that I had fling with, but never goes anywhere. They will be forever be in my heart.
I'm about to tell you the story of one of them.

It's been so long since the last time I saw him.
Suddenly, I was surprised I met him last night, at a place I never thought I would see him.
Me too, it was not my kind of place either.
With his long-sleeved shirt, he looked gorgeous, and neat. Really different from what I thought he was. I thought he's not into that kind of music, and that kind of place. Since he is so artsy and quirky.

But when I see him last night, moving slowly, damn he was something.
And surprisingly, he said hi to me! How lucky I am!

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Stop this train
Saturday, June 6, 2009

Have you ever feel that your day went pass you by just like that?
Going from am to pm and another am again, and it feels exactly the same as the one you had before
When you wake up in the morning, not having enough desire to get out of bed, just because you're afraid of what you might feel at the end of the day.
Will it be the same boredom and your desire of life is getting less and less and less.

It's what I feel everyday when I see the clock is already 6.30 am, get up and do the routines.
Back home at 8 pm, already exhausted to even talk to my mom and sis, watch TV, or the long-abandoned Brida book that had been left unread for about, 3 months.
I barely talk about this with people.
All I can hear is the voice of myself, talking to myself that I can do this I can do this.
I blame the positivity of mind which has been my mutual proud, but this time it failed me.

I do appreciate weekend more than ever, is it a sign that i'm getting bored of my job? Or is it because of everyone at work is getting less in the count of weeks? What if I'm the only one left alone, struggling while no one else cared. I think I should consider that long time ago.
When I decided to look for a job at record label company, or media-related agency, or else that involved great adventure and good salary ;p

Just like John Mayer said
"Stop this train
I wanna get off
And go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't
But honestly, won't someone stop this train?"

I'm riding a fast-track train, maybe running 125 miles/hour, and I just starting to notice that I'm riding alone.

"So scared of getting older
I'm only good at being young
So I play the numbers game
To find a way to say that life has just begun"

Now that I'm alone, will at least someone out there stop this train?

All lyrics taken from 'Stop This Train' by John Mayer

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